and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
