All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
