Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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