okay pat passed out under dana's car
no, he came in my armpit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize