I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
