why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
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I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
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Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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