Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
