nut hugger
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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