I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
