dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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