Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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