I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
