She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
