Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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