you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We have started to decorate penises.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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