She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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