My room smells like vodka and shame
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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