my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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