its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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