Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
