At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
