He disabled his match.com account in front of me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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