I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
A+ Viking dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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