What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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