I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
