is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
