he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
