Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I need a beard to bite.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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