i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
