New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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