I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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