I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
