All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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