Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
