Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
