is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
