sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
