You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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