needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
