I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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