I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
