Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
