Where is the hickey?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
