Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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