So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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