I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
