I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
