DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
