Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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