How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
