considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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