Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
