A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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