My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I stole a fireplace last night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
