She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
