At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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