Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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