Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
