I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
