But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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