I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize